Young, hung, and full of vitriol...

I can't offer works of staggering genius, but what you will get are my sometimes funny, questioningly intelligent, frighteningly vitriolic, occasionally shockingly sweet, but almost always charmingly grouchy ramblings on music, film, politics, society, pop culture, literature, queer life, travel, Kansas City, and the mundane, yet surreal aspects of everyday.

I'm a queer punk country boy in his late 30s, who has settled back in the midwest after a decade or so of living around the country. My boyfriend, MJ and I moved to Kansas City a couple of years ago after an insanely surreal life in rural, southeast Kansas. This is my attempt at getting back into writing after a longer than anticipated hiatus. I'm still a bit rusty, so be gentle with me...A bottle of wine, some Barry White, and a can of Crisco usually does the job.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

I was actually lucky enough to see this in the theater when it was a part of the Boy’s Life 2 filmfest. I sat in the theater in Royal Oak, Michigan in tears because it was the most dead on portrayal of being an outcast, queer kid that I had ever seen. I love that he didn't realize that a damned thing was wrong with him or how he felt until he was made to. That is what is wrong with this world. There isn't anything wrong...we're just told that there is supposed to be...

It was wonderful to see it win the Oscar, spur The Trevor Project, and 16 years later, still be an amazing force in the gay community. We just watched it again, and it still manages to make me laugh out loud, smile, and cry like a baby. However, I hope someday, we won’t need the Trevor Project anymore because queer youth will realize how amazing and wonderful that they are, regardless of the small minded ignorant bigots in this world.

It is one of my biggest goals in life, and why I am such a loud mouth make those outcast, gay or straight, male or female, tranny or bi, realize that there is not a damned thing wrong with them. It won't always be easy. It may be hell. The people in your life may turn their backs on you. However, there are people out there that will love you. People who will and do appreciate all the things that make you think that you are weird, or wrong, or that make the small minded idiots take their own ignorance and insecurities out on you. It takes balls to be a fairy. It may not always be an easy life, but as someone who grew up in small town Kansas, competing in rodeo, a 4H member, and a big burly punk guy who has been out for half of his life, I didn't always have it easy, but I tucked in and realized that being different and queer was a wonderful thing. It was part of what made me who I was and who I am. It's something that I love about myself and I wouldn't change it for anything. Despite how tough it can be at times, I wouldn't give up being gay even if it was an option. I promise that there is a better world out there. Just keep fighting...


  1. Amen, my dear friend.
    I love you.
    I love this post.
    It brought back the memory of the night that you and I went to see Philadelphia back in the early '90s. Walking out after it was over, we were so quiet... until we got inside your little truck. I remember the two of us bursting into tears and I held your head as you poured out your anger, pain and confusion. We made promises to each other in that truck. Remember?
    15 years later, that bond is still there.
    I love you more today than yesterday and I didn't think that was possible.
    I'm sooooo glad that you are here!

  2. Kendra, you're one of those that make the world a better place for us. As much as I'd love to take credit for being your "first gay", your story about your uncle had such an effect on my coming out. I really wish you'd blog about it. It's an amazing, inspiring story.

  3. Sadly, I never knew another gay person until several years after I came out. Like Chad, I was already strong enough to face the headwinds of society in small town Kansas.

  4. You are such an eloquent writer. This made me realize how strong I was in high school. I was endlessly teased by a group of bullies but I *did* have friends that accepted me for who I was and that meant the world to me. It made me withstand all of the bullying and I cam out the other side a strong, proud, gay man. Thanks for sharing