Young, hung, and full of vitriol...

I can't offer works of staggering genius, but what you will get are my sometimes funny, questioningly intelligent, frighteningly vitriolic, occasionally shockingly sweet, but almost always charmingly grouchy ramblings on music, film, politics, society, pop culture, literature, queer life, travel, Kansas City, and the mundane, yet surreal aspects of everyday.

I'm a queer punk country boy in his late 30s, who has settled back in the midwest after a decade or so of living around the country. My boyfriend, MJ and I moved to Kansas City a couple of years ago after an insanely surreal life in rural, southeast Kansas. This is my attempt at getting back into writing after a longer than anticipated hiatus. I'm still a bit rusty, so be gentle with me...A bottle of wine, some Barry White, and a can of Crisco usually does the job.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

MANIFEST DESTINY RIFLE...

GO INSIDE ME...BE MY WAR BOY...MY AMPHETAMINE HERO...MY DRUNKEN SOLDIER...BAPTISM CONTINGENT ON BLOOD ALCOHOL LEVEL...I’LL FEEL WHOLE ONLY WHEN I’M MADE TO FEEL LIKE NOTHING...LIKE GLAZED EMPTY EYES IN A CHOPPED WHITE STRIPED MIRROR...THE CUM DRIES ON THE DRIVE HOME WHILE I READ THE CHURCH SIGN”HE WHO KNEELS MOST LIVES BEST”...AND FOR ONCE I AGREE...CUZ THE ONLY TIME THAT I FEEL ALIVE OR WHOLE OR LIKE ANYTHING IS RIGHT WITH THIS WORLD IS WHEN I’M TAKING SOMETHING IN...ON MY KNEES FOR THE RIGHT SONG...THE RIGHT BOTTLE...OR THE RIGHT COCK....CUZ MUSIC IS MY CHURCH...BUT COCK IS THE COMMUNION AND BOOZE IS THE OXYGEN...AL ONCE SAID “I ONLY KILL TO KNOW I AM ALIVE”, BUT I ONLY SWALLOW TO KNOW I’M BREATHING...RURAL BOY WITH MANIFEST DESTINY RIFLE...NO BUCK ON MY WALL..THE ONLY THING THAT I KILL IS BRAIN CELLS AND DREAMS...ANOINTED IN GOOD BOURBON AND CHEAP BEER, I PLAY OFF ADDICTION BECAUSE IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO...OR AT LEAST, THE ACCEPTABLE THING TO DO...I LIE HERE BLEEDING, A VICTIM OF MY OWN CIRCUMSTANCE...THE DRYING HARDNESS ON MY STOMACH AND FACE, THE LIQUOR STORE CHARGE ON MY CREDIT CARD, THE BITING OF MY TONGUE....THE ONLY EVIDENCE I HAVE THAT TONIGHT EXISTED...INSOMNIA MAKES ME FEEL WHOLE...DESPITE ANY EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY...THIS RANDOMNESS MAKE SENSE TO ME, IF NOT TO YOU...
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