Now, get me a beer...

A lot of things have changed in my life in the last month. I'm not going into details here, but I've been faced with some massive decisions regarding my life, relationship, and job. Enough betrayal, backstabbing, apologies and drama for a queer soap opera. I've weeded some people out of my life and brought some closer. To top it all off, I quit my job last week. The 200 mile roundtrip commute, and being gone 4 to 5 days a week was just too much. It's had a very negative impact on my emotional state, my relationship, and life in general. It's scary and surreal not being employed, but it's also kind of a relief. Of course, we'll see how I feel if I haven't found something in a couple of weeks.

The truly odd part of all of this is how I've responded. I am usually a bit high strung, compulsive, obsessive, and sometimes manic, with a flair for dramatic. Yet, with everything I have been faced with over the last month or so, I've managed to be incredibly calm, introspective, and, dare I say it, positive. I wish a lot of this would never have happened, but I think it has forced me to address a lot of issues in my life and with myself that I had too easy of a time shoving back. 2010 has been off to a shit start, but I think that if I bust my ass enough, I can make some gravy out of the rest of the year. Fuck, this optimistic shit is exhausting. I need a beer...

Anyway, the job hunting has given me a lot of time to analyze my life and myself. I'm not going on some bullshit self realization trip, but there are things in my life that I truly love that I have let lose importance. My writing has gone to crap. I haven't done any dj mixes in a couple of years, and the podcast that I have rambled about for years has yet to surface. Also, while I'm trying to embrace my beefy, stocky, cubness, I also need to start exercising. I'm always going to be a big strapping bastard, but I'd like to be one that feels a bit better every day and can maybe, look just a little hotter in my collection of band tshirts.

So...expect more rambling on here, as well as a possible podcast tie in. I promise to keep the "I lost 10 lbs" comments to a minimum, but if I look super hot in that old Dead Kennedys shirt, you may have pictures forced upon you...